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9/18/2005 The Physics Teacher / Assistant CoachAs the saying goes..."Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives..." Welcome back everyone for another "lane" in the Dating Lane series!! This one, he wasn't so bad, but he is still an "EX" and an "EX" for a reason. I actually do have a funny story about this one, which I laughed so hard after this happened yesterday. I was at an International Fall Festival here in Downtown Eau Claire. They have crafty items set up from all over the world, dancers, food, and music. I was there with my mom, and I was heading towards a booth which had some cute cat items for sale. I ran into my friend Jenny whom I grew up with from grade school on along with her family, and then I spotted him. The physics teacher, with a stroller, a baby, and his wife. I know he saw me, and then passed the stroller with child in it to wife, and immediately took off down the street. I never said anything to him, did not look at him with the "I will dismember you if you do not go away" eyes, nothing. I was just looking around at the various craft items. Mom and I left that booth, and as we were walking down the street, he was walking back with a sandwich in his hand. I don't know WHY it was he had to take off in such a rush, it's not like I would have actually said anything to him!!! I did get a really good laugh out of it though...makes me wonder how many other guys I have dated I could scare like that...hummmmmm??????
O.K., now onto this "creature's" tale....
We met at a coaches meeting for the high school where I was going to be the cheer leading coach at for that year. We were in the back yard at the home of one of the coaches sitting in lawn chairs with binders, and paper work that we were going to go over before the school year/sports season started. I was looking over the paper work, and overheard the Athletic Director say my name. I looked up, and he told me that if I had any questions, I was to ask "Mr. Physics Teacher", because he was going to be my guide in case I needed to know where/how things worked at the school. I introduced myself, and we shook hands, and moved our chairs closer together in case I had questions that I needed to ask. After the paper work was finished, it was time to eat. They had a nice bar-b-que set up, with all the fixings, and it was really nice to meet all the coaches, and mingle. I sat down at a quaint little table next to one of the other assistant football coaches, we introduced ourselves, and began to eat. "Mr. Physics" came over and sat down with us and we all began to chat. It was nice. Nothing exciting, but nice. As the night went on, I was getting tired and was ready to leave. "Mr. Physics" was leaving at the same time, so we walked to our cars together. I could feel there was an attraction, but wasn't sure about things, seeing that I was the cheer leading coach, and he was an assistant football coach. Sometimes, that can lead to TROUBLE. We got to our cars, and he asked if I wanted a piece of gum, I said yes, and we continued to talk until it began to rain. I didn't mind the rain, as it had been a very warm afternoon, and the rain cooled everything off. Me especially. Before I left, he gave me his phone number, and told me if I had any questions, I could call him anytime. I did...the very next day. We talked for over 4 hours, and then he asked me if I wanted to come over. I did, even though I was in a sweatshirt and running pants. I was definitely not looking my best that afternoon...but, it was nice. We talked, and talked, and talked... He was a DIEHARD Green Bay Packer fan, and I...well I was a hockey fan. Football was something I knew NOTHING about.
We began dating before the school year began, and spent quite a lot of time together. He taught me how to drive a stick shift car, which was one thing I could NEVER do. I am a pretty basic person, if I have to do more than one thing to get something to move, then it's too much for me to even want to try. I remember the night he took me to the local Wal-Mart late in the evening and let me drive around. He said I did pretty good for not knowing how to drive a stick shift. I have not driven one since, but hey, at least I didn't hit anything, kill the engine more than twice, or endanger our lives in the process.
The one night I remember the most, was the night Princess Diana was killed. We were watching "Love Line" (I think that is what it was called) on MTV, and then when we flipped to a news channel, it was on that she had been injured. We flipped back to MTV, and just a few minutes later, the news reported that she had died. I will remember than night for a long time, even if HE was in it...
School started, and things began to get hectic for both of us. He had his physics classes, he was a JV football coach, and one of the assistant Varsity football coaches. I was the cheer leading coach. That was it. I wasn't doing anything else but that. It kept me pretty busy, but I still had free-time. I can remember when our relationship started going downhill, was when there was a meeting for all the student athletes, and we both had to be there. Before we left, we kissed, and I just felt a spark. (I think this is where the STUPID PHYSICS GARBAGE COMES IN...) I asked him if he felt it, and he said no. I left, feeling like I had just been dropped off of the Empire State Building with a cement block tied to me. Time went on, and we were still together. We both signed up to work at the Homecoming Dance, and the entire Homecoming week was rather nuts with everything they had going on. The cheerleaders did a special thing each year for the football coaches by making them huge signs, with streamers and balloons. After the annual Homecoming Talent Show, the team got together and went to each coaches house, and placed the posters they had made outside their houses. We got to "Mr. Physics" house, and we tried to be quiet about it, so the coaches would not hear us putting them up...so it would be a surprise for the big game day. Of course, he had to leave his curtains open, so he saw us pull up, and came to the door. The girls put the sign on his door, he smiled and waved, then we left. After that was finished, I went home to catch some sleep because we had the Homecoming Parade on Friday afternoon, the game that night, then we were up at 9:00 A.M. to decorate for the dance that evening. I thought for Homecoming, I would do something "cute" for "Mr. Physics", so I bought a bunch of balloons, some confetti, and even bought him a CD from his favorite band...Dave Matthews Band. I decorated his kitchen in school colors, had dinner made, and was dressed up for the dance. He came home, and was wondering what had happened to his kitchen. NICE, thanks...I'm glad I WASTED MY TIME, and ENERGY to try and do something nice for you...MORON.
The dance that night was interesting. I was in charge. OH, DEAR LORD...WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO??? I was chaperoning the dance, while the football coaches were "guarding the halls, and talking football", the cheerleaders were there, and they would ask me to dance every now and then, but I tried to refrain from that, because I had over 400 students to keep and eye on...
"Mr. Physics" came in to see how everything was doing, and the song "In Your Eyes" came on. I asked him if he wanted to dance, and he said no, but he did for a few minutes anyhow. He was crabby that night...I couldn't quite pick up what was wrong, but it wasn't long until I would find out. "Mr. Physics" just didn't want to see me anymore. He didn't feel the connection I felt...he didn't like it that all I did was coach cheer leading...there were so many factors that lead to our break-up. It of course, was not a pretty break-up. I get angry when someone hurts me, so I got angry. It was a defense mechanism for me...I have used it many times in my life.
It was even more difficult to continue coaching, I was sad, and saw him more than I needed to after the break-up than I wanted to.
The only way I found to make myself feel better after the break-up, was to find "South Dakota, J" My cowboy. At that time, he was in college in Montana, and I remember calling him on his birthday from the school. I had sent him a "care package" for his birthday. He loved it. As the Rascal Flatts song goes: "God bless the broken road...that leads me straight to you..." It always did. The road I have been on in my life may be broken in many areas...but through all the hurt, and all the pain...there was one constant in my life...my cowboy.
"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise."
I borrowed this quote from Sherrill's Space that I truly feel touches my feelings...so go visit her space...she has some true heart-to-heart stuff on there: Thanks Sherrill!!!
It has taken me a while, but I have put music on here again. I have had to find a different place to store my music, but once I did that, then I think it will work...or I hope it will work anyhow...
Peace~
Paula 8/24/2005 The Truck Driver Calls...I have just gotten called twice by "Mr. Truck Driver" (look it up in the archives in case you can't find it)...he will not leave me alone. He tells me that he has to talk to me, and "get things off his chest". I told him to have a good time "getting things off his chest" and hung up. He has continued to call me, and try to "say what he needs to say", like "I didn't know my wife was dead...if I knew she was still alive I wouldn't be looking for someone to spend my life with!" HELLO!!! YOU WERE DIVORCED YEARS AGO, MORON!!! I told him that he should not call me anymore, and I hung up again. I went to call my mother, and he was still on the line. HE JUST WOULD NOT LET GO! I am leaving now, and going over to a "secured location" incase he is in the area. I am so afraid right now, I am having a panic attack. But, I know I need to go, because if he has his way, he will find out where I live and hound me. I have the police on standby incase anything should arrise, but I cannot be afraid of him, he isn't even worth THAT MUCH!! WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM??? Great, for all the times I wanted a stalker *(a nice, hot one like George Clooney, or Vin Diesel would be fine) but no, I get a pathological liar who is comsumed with making sure "I KNOW HOW HE FEELS!" WHO CARES??? Not me...
Paula
UPDATE:
I have made it back home (on the same night of the calls from hell), and everything is fine. I bought a metal softball bat, (THANKS TO THE KEATING TEAM FOR KEEPING SOFTBALL IN MY HEAD)...and got back into my apartment A.O.K. I came in, and immediately checked my phone for more calls...he called again. Leaving a message this time. "DO NOT EVER CALL ME AGAIN, AND NEVER, EVER LEAVE ME A MESSAGE ON MY CELL PHONE AGAIN! IF YOU EVER THREATEN ME, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO CALL THE POLICE!"
O.K. SPARKY, Let's get this straight... ONE, you want ME to stop calling YOU (which I did after all of this SAME garbage a year ago), TWO, never leave you a message on your cell phone (well, then stop leaving messages on MINE),THREE, about threatening him...MORON, THE POLICE HAVE YOUR NUMBER...
AND I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONE WHO NEEDED TO GO TO THERAPY!!! HAAAAAA!
I think that trip to Canada sounds REALLY GOOD right now!!!!
 As I just heard on "*ex in the City" tonight, "Can you ever be friends with an Ex?" My answer...NOT THIS ONE!!!!!! Continuing on...The "Hopeful Politician"Welcome back everyone to today's edition of Life in the Dating Lane!! Today's "creature from the deep" is a former United States Marine, very politically grounded, and if it isn't his way, it's the highway kind of guy...the kind of guy you really want your father to meet...yeah, right.
We met at the local rollerskating rink. I was working at the rink as a Program Manager/Birthday Hostess/Train Conductor/Disk Jockey...that day, I was the "Birthday Hostess with the Mostess". He was their with his family, after just getting out of the Marine Corps, and was celebrating his niece's birthday. I was the "let's make sure the family has a good time as well as the kids, hostess." I would cook their pizzas, deliver their ice cream and cake, and make sure the kids and parents were all happy little campers. Oh, how I loved that job.....(that is a HINT of sarcasm.....just in case you didn't catch it)
His father was very talkative, talking up his son, and his family as much as he could. He played the match maker. I was getting ready to bring in their take home containers of pizza, and I turned around to see "Mr. Former Marine" standing behind me, wondering if I had a pen handy. I gave him one, and he asked if he could give me his phone number. I said, "Sure, no problem!" I really did not see any harm in it...In return I gave him mine, and then I went on my way and finished my task at hand. After the birthday parties were finished for the afternoon, it was time for me to D.J. I walked up to the booth, and began my session as him and his family were walking by. He smiled, and told me that he would call me sometime and that it was nice to meet me. I said the same to him, and they left. I finished work around 11:30 P.M., and drove to my apartment in Chippewa Falls (where coincidentally, he was also from). I got home, grabbed something to eat other than pizza, and then the phone rang. It was him. First off, I didn't really expect a call so soon, and second of all...I didn't really expect a call so late in the evening. However, we talked until early the next morning, finding out that we had some common interests, and then I was off to sleep. The next day, I called him back as I said I would, and we set a date for dinner. Being one who loves to cook, I invited him over for a wonderful pasta dinner, and great conversation. Dinner went fine, the conversation was good...except I saw just how much fire he had in him (or hot air as it came to be later on...) for politics. I was not much for politics, seeing that I was not fond of war, or some of the other ideals that our President at the time had set forth.
Seeing that he was just recently out of the Marines, he was living at home with his father. I was going to college, and had two jobs on top of that. After a couple of dates, I began to see some changes not only in him, but in my apartment. Like, he was slowly moving in clothing, blankets, and other misc. items. I didn't really have time to do anything, seeing that I would have classes from 8 A.M. until 4 P.M. and then would work at the rink from 5 P.M. until 10 P.M., or I would have to coach cheer leading at my old high school, from 5 P.M. until 7 P.M. or later, depending on if we had a game coming up....After about a week of being together, I began to see a trend forming...he was moving in, and had no job, so he sat in my apartment all day not doing a whole lot... I was so busy with my classes, and work that I didn't even have time to talk to him about it. He was just there.
I remember one day, coming home from classes, I was extremely tired from working all week, and driving back and forth to classes and cheer leading practice, that I just wanted to come home and sleep for a while. I get home, and find him on my computer (no problem, yet)...I asked what he had done that day, and he said he was on the internet all day looking up statues (he was a junkie for "Superhero Statues"...not the 'El cheapos....and having Spiderman, Superman, and Thor adorning my "cabin" decor, just did not fly with me). Not only that, but my way of connecting to the internet...was connecting to the school server. I.E. IT WAS A LONG DISTANCE CALL.....He told me that he did not know it was long distance to Menomonie, and that I never told him...O.K. I'll just say, he was not the brightest bulb in the box...
His shopping sprees, and using my telephone to call his buddies in Hawaii (another add-on to the long distance calling thing...) for hours on end, was starting to really get to me. I sat down one night and talked to him about it, and it ended up with me crying, and him acting like Mike Tyson. If it wasn't his way...it was the highway. I would like to take this moment to THANK the Marine Corps for installing that great attribute into him.
*(I do love the Marine Corps, and realize that NOT ALL THE MEN IN THE CORP are like him...)*
At the time, it was hard for me to work two jobs, go to school full time, and have him in my apartment 24/7. I tried to GENTLY hint to him that maybe he should get a job, or find a hobby...Well, that worked!! He found a hobby that took up my entire living room floor!!! Collecting football and baseball cards. He had to sort them by team, and it was a MESS. (*Note to self, next time maybe suggest sky diving or bungee jumping*) I couldn't even sit down to watch TV. because there was not where to walk. I went into my bedroom and watched the TV in there. I think he knew I was a little upset. Of course, that never bothered him...
After a long day of classes, I had the night off and was planning on watching a movie with George Clooney called Fail Safe. I had seen the previews for it and was so excited to see it. I came home, he had dinner made (usually something he liked), I ate and then did some homework before the movie came on. I was sitting in the living room, waiting for the movie, and he had the guts to say to me, "Don't you have a paper due this week for your English class?" I replied, "Yes, and I am almost finished with it." He then piped in, "You need to go get that done before the movie comes on." For a moment, I almost thought of slapping him right then and there...break out the hockey stick kids...it's play time!!!! I could not believe what he was acting like. I thought I was going to start laughing hysterically and then flames were going to shoot from my eyes and burn him to a crisp!!!!!!! That never happened. He would never let that happen. He was "Mr. Control". I had none. Even in my OWN APARTMENT. So, off I was to do my homework...I slammed the bedroom door, and turned the TV on, so I could at least listen to it while I finished my paper. I think that may have lit him up...JUST A LITTLE BIT. Apparently, you are not supposed to slam doors around him...makes him think someone is going to shoot at him or something. It was a very long, night. He slept on the couch. I locked the bedroom door. Yea ME!!!!! Score= Me 1, Him=0
I got up for school around 6 A.M. so that I could get ready, and then drive to Menomonie and find a place to park. He hated that I woke him up every morning. HELLO!! THIS IS PAULA'S BOOT CAMP, MARINE...6 A.M. IS WAKE UP CALL!!!! In the final month of classes, he had finally found a job. With one of the local politicians. He would be moving to Madison. (The University that is there was just named the biggest party school in the NATION...now that is a school I would be OH SO PROUD TO ATTEND...NOT). So, he had meetings here in Eau Claire, and down in Madison. As he was in Madison, he found a place to live, because he was going to end up staying there while working. OH BOY!!! MOVE OUT DAY!!! YEA!!!! He left, and I went to school for my last final of the semester. I had also packed my car, to head to Madison so that him and I could drive to Milwaukee that evening and go see KISS in concert. I had the best seats in the house!! I was more excited to see KISS than I was to see him...now this is where "the assistant hockey coach, Jeff" saw me on the hill walking to my final, and gave me a big hug as I bragged about going to see KISS...IF ONLY I WOULD HAVE KIDNAPPED HIM AND THREW HIM IN MY CAR......
I get down to Madison, listening to KISS the entire way, just wired to see them in concert, and I unload the car, sat down for a minute or two and said I needed to get ready for the concert because we were going to have to leave soon. I got a phone call from my friend Jenny whom we were supposed to meet at the concert with her husband and she asked when we were leaving. I told her that we were going to be leaving soon, and that if we got there before them, or vice verse to keep an eye open for each other. After getting off the phone, and I began to get ready, he was still quiet and not moving from the couch. I came back into the living room and asked him when he was going to get ready, and he says, "I don't want to go. I don't like loud music. Besides, I wish you would have asked me if I wanted to go before you went and just bought the tickets without my permission." OH MY GOD...IF LOOKING AT HIM THE WAY I DID COULD HAVE MADE HIS HEAD SPIN AROUND AND FLY OFF, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT!!!! He gave me the, "let's just spend some quiet time alone...go to a movie, have dinner and just be together..." In return I gave him the, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I SPENT ALMOST $300 ON THESE TICKETS!!!!! WE WILL PICK YOU UP SOME EAR PLUGS BEFORE WE GO, BUT WE ARE GOING TO THIS CONCERT!!!" He stood up, yes, he was taller than I was...and said, "NO WE'RE NOT!" That was the end of the conversation. Score= Me 1, Him 1. I had to call my friend Jenny back, and tell her that we were not going to make it because "he was not feeling well..." He sat next to me as I called making sure I didn't say something else that might make him look bad.
I was at his apartment for a week. There was no leaving, and no fun. He told me that I came down to stay for a week, I was staying for a week! There was no more arguing with this one. Although, I have to say seeing the movie, Gladiator on the first night of it's release in the theater and him not liking it and me drooling over Russell Crowe made me want to get a dog, name him Hell and then say, "On my signal, unleash Hell..." as the dog goes and bites him where it counts...We also saw the X-men, and I fell in love with Hugh Jackman...he thought the movie was "O.K." ...LOSER. On the Sunday I was leaving, I had planned a trip down to DeKalb, IL to see my Grandmother. I got up early, was dressed and ready to go. He was sitting on the couch watching some animal planet type documentary. I told him we had to get on the road so we wouldn't be late because my grandma was expecting us. Yea..what happened??? "You go, I don't feel like it." My Grandma as many of you may already know, is very determined on me getting married...and has to ask me often of when I will...or I will be an old maid, you know. At that point, I was SO LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING AN OLD MAID!!! I got to my Grandma's place, we went for lunch at Wendy's and then came back and chatted for a little while. I had to leave early because HE MADE ME LATE, so I was upset by that too...I tried calling him as he told me I had to do because he wanted to make sure "I made it there O.K.", and no answer. After lunch, I tried again. No answer. I left Grandma's and headed back to his place to grab my things before heading home. I get to his apartment, and the door's are locked and the security chain was up. I rang the doorbell, and heard him say, "Just a minute, just a minute!"...he gets to the door with a towel wrapped around his waist. However, he had not taken a shower. I asked him if he was heading in to take a shower, and he said, "No, I was watching a movie." O.K. I was fired up at this point, and walked into the bedroom to find the bed a mess, and an adult movie playing on the TV. Stop...now just think of every naughty word you know, and I said it!!!!!!! I packed quickly, and was out the door.
The 4th of July was the following weekend, and he had already planned on going up to his sister's cabin up north. Correction WE had already planned on going...I was so excited, I could have just puked. I was still not on speaking terms with him after the whole KISS concert and visit to my Grandma's house issue...so that drive was nice a quiet. We left that Friday afternoon, and from the time we got to the cabin, to the time we left...I might as well have been INVISIBLE. He tried to ignore me like the plague. I would cry a lot, but if he saw me he would get mad, so I would go for walks just to get away. After that weekend, I knew I had to do something to get out of this...I had to think like a Marine if that was going to happen...
Once we got back to my apartment. I put my bags in the bedroom, turned around, and just let it rip...He was to NEVER come back here again, he had to pay me back for the long distance phone calls and internet calls he had made, and that I was NOT going to put up with his S&*^ anymore. It was over! I then took a big breath and shoved him to the door, grabbing my spare key in the process, and told him to make sure the door hit him in the A&^ on the way out.
He was gone. As I turned around, I noticed his stuff was not. I gathered it up, took it outside and threw it in the back seat of his car. I wiped my hands, and walked back into my apartment and turned on a hockey game. At that moment, I finally felt as if I did something that should have been done sooner, but the fear that he put in me was too much for me at the time and I had to go through all of this to get to the point where I could say it.
I know that many of you are going to say that I should have left him a LONG time before..and I will say you are exactly right. But, there was that fear factor that he put in me that I could not get away from. I had to figure out just how and when I was going to do it, or I don't think I would have had the guts to do it. He is now married with one child. (He slept with an older woman at a local gym down in Madison, and she got pregnant). I have not seen him since.
I DO WANT TO REITERATE THAT I DO NOT HAVE A VENGENCE AGAINST THE MARINES!! I KNOW THAT HE WAS ONE THAT IS NOT LIKE THE REST OF THE MEN IN THE CORPS. PLEASE, NOTE THAT I AM VERY PROUD OF ALL OUR MILITARY MEN AND WOMEN FOR WHAT THEY DO EVERYDAY TO KEEP OUR COUNTRY SAFE, AND FREE. AS MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD SAY, "THERE IS ALWAYS ONE THAT HAS TO MESS IT UP FOR THE REST OF THE GROUP." I DO NOT LOOK POORLY UPON THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS AND WILL NEVER DO SO!
Thanks for reading, and come back soon for another edition of "Life in the Dating Lane"...
Paula
8/22/2005 The Online Date...O.K., I have come to the conclusion that either I have "DON'T DATE ME EVER" written on my forehead, or guys are put off by my outgoing nature, high intellect, and the ability to ask for what I want in life. No word after the date with the online guy...SO.. I'm back to the "He's Just Not That Into You" book, wondering what in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks I did this time??? As I was reading this book, I found this advice that helped me feel better...I think??
If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes. The only thing in your control is how long you allow these gentlemen to take up space in your life. In case you're not sure, it should be about ten minutes from when they first display their completely unacceptable behavior (or lizardlike tail). Ten minutes still gives you time to put on all your clothes and make sure you have deleted your number from his cell phone.
If this is true, answer me this...if a woman already has a feeling he is a weirdo, or a jerk, WHY does this guy assume that we already have our clothes off??? Is he trying to tell all women that we are cheap and easy and would have any relations with someone who was a weirdo or a jerk?? And, why would it have to take us 10 mintues to figure out he was a weirdo or a jerk?? I know that I have had my share of weirdos and jerks, but if I would have had this book years ago, I wouldn't have stayed with that weirdo or jerk for longer than 2 minutes, and MY CLOTHES WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN ON!!! I don't get it...maybe there is some logic to it, but in this case...I don't see it. Well, seeing that I have not heard back from any of the"Keating Fastpitch Softball Team" lately, I figure I can now tell all the good stuff that went on when I did the "all-nighter softball tournament" with them! First off, I realized that laying down on a football field has a meaning to grown men..."steam roller". If you have yet to experience this "double dog dare you" game, it is quite simple. You find the dumbest one in the bunch, double dog dare him to "steam roll" a pretty girl, and he has to do it seeing that you can't go back on a double dog dare. (sometimes you wonder if men just don't go back into childhood once they turn a certain age). Now, a "steam roll" as it is so convienently called, is when a pretty girl (or a girl in general) is laying down on her stomache and the one who got the dare, has to go and lay down next to her, and then roll over her from one side, to the other, and then back again. Hello, I realize that it was after MIDNIGHT, but doesn't anyone know how to play card games, or just have an intellectual conversation instead?? Obviously not...
Then there is the fact that when I bought the three players ice cream ("Doc", Davie, and Greg...A.K.A. MR. OH, CANADA), I did it because I saw Greg come in and thought I was going to drool all over my ice cream. Ladies, this man was HOT!! So, me, being Ms. Outgoing, I just went up and said I would buy them ice cream. All I heard out of what they were saying was "Hi, my name is Greg and I'm from Canada." That was it. He said that magic word that all women in the United States should be listening for...CANADA. I have come to realize through this whole experience that men from Canada (**Remember Jeff, from college who I previously wrote about) are not only very, very good looking...but they are the guys your mother always wanted you to be with!! Sensitive, romantic, gorgeous, fun, outgoing...the whole package! I spoke with Greg after the games were over in his hotel room for about an hour, and he even offered to let me stay in his room (TWO TWIN BEDS). HOW COME I CAN'T FIND A GUY THAT WILL EVER LET ME STAY OVER ANYWHERE??? Why I didn't take up that offer I will NEVER know, but I wonder what it would have been like to wake up and see a really hot gut in the bed next to me. THAT NEVER HAPPENS!!!! That afternoon, with roughly 4 hours of sleep from the all-nighter, I brought over my laptop and stopped in his room to show him this space. He was flattered, and blushing...I guess I done good on that one... howver the only thing I remember was that he had me at HELLO. Literally.
White athletic tank top, lounge pants...I was almost ready to just throw myself in his suitcase so he could take me home with him!!!! The man has values, a HEART, is considerate, kind, takes VERY, VERY good care of himself, and he has to live in ANOTHER COUNTRY!!! As if it isn't hard enough for me to try and find decent dates in THIS COUNTRY!!!
Greg is a personal trainer for a military base up near Toronto, is younger than me, but you know that I feel, age is just a number...if you have a connection with someone, and your maturity levels are somewhat equal (sometimes it's just fun to act like a teenager again)...then you should not worry about age. Let me say, that if I could go back to Wednesday night at the tournaments, I would have been flirting up a storm, causing a rain delay, just to talk to him more. Well, I must have flirted more than enough, because it downpoured the whole next day...and I did get about 15 minutes of talk time in with him...no phone number, no e-mail address, no real address though. Oh well...I will chalk that one up to God showing me that there are REAL men on this planet, they just don't live in this country...they live in Canada. Yes, Lord I have learned my lesson and will not date another "creature from the deep" in this country...I will search for Mr. Canada...
Another quote from "He's Just Not That Into You";
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Why is it, I have NEVER found this to be true??? Guys won't ask for directions, much less try to figure out where a girl lives! Yet, they can find the tools they need, the right sports bar, and even the nearest lake with no problems. Let me just say...guys, it's a phone book, if that doesn't help...call (*put area code here*) 555-1212 that will get you the phone number for any one in the United States. As far as Canada...well, I have only had a couple of comments from Canada...so if those people know what your information number is, let me know will ya???
Otherwise, that is pretty much the "story within the story" of the Keating Fastpitch Softball Team...nothing real exciting, but I HAD to get it out about Greg...holding that kinda stuff in, just isn't healthy!!!
 I am going to stop off at the Heartbreak Hotel for the night, so I hope you all have a great Monday and I will be writing more soon, so stop on back!!!
~Paula 8/20/2005 The WeathermanHello again, everyone!!
As of today 8/20/2005 I have had a total of 56,683 people visit my space. That to me is an amazing thing. I never in my life thought that this space would get more than 10 people reading it, much less 56,683 people!!!! Thank you all for making this space one of the best!! I greatly appreciate it!!!!!
 I have a couple of questions that I need to answer regarding "the online guy" whom I met on Yahoo Personals. What happened to that?? Well, we have continued to chat, and last night we met for the first time. He is not (thank the Lord) a psychopathic, multiple-personality, drug addicted man!!! Not that all men that I have met are, but some of the guys that have replied to my personal ad...let's just say, I wouldn't meet them in a HIGHLY LIGHTED PUBLIC AREA where people are always present. I have had some pretty interesting replies to say the least. Scary, but interesting. The one thing I love are the guys who think they need to take pictures of their "great" chests and display them for public viewing. Woah, cowboy....unless that chest belongs to BIGFOOT, KEEP IT OFF THE INTERNET. It is NOT sexy to see a man who has a beer gut and more hair on his chest area than he does on his head. It's just NOT right....
My new internet date and I seem to get along quite well, he has 3 cats, (who adore me...which shocked him because one of them NEVER makes her presence known with anyone...she was sitting next to me and purrrrrrrrrring the whole time.) As someone told me in my "Pathological Liar" blog, that I should listen to my cats, well I told that to my new friend, and he agreed. So, who knows where this will go. One day at a time.... he is a weatherman at one of the local TV stations (not the same one that my "Sports Guy" in on), but he is intellegent, funny, and has had his heart broken just as I have. We are finding out more about each other and just taking it nice and slow. I am now one who likes to really get to know someone before I decide if we will be a good match or not. After all the NASTY dates I have had, it is only right to protect myself first before I get hurt again.
Well, I am going to go over and help a neighbor who has MS, and needs to go to the grocery store, so I am going to end this here. I hope you will go through the road construction with me, and tollerate a few speed-bumps as I try to make this an even better space!!!
A special thank you to Mr. Brian Dawson, a member of the U.S. Army who sent me a wonderful e-mail about my space! And, I also want to say thank you to him, as well as all our men and women in uniform who are here or abroad protecting our freedom. Each and every one of you are very brave to do what you do, and I admire that with all my heart! Thank you and God be with you were ever you are! I am behind you 110%!!!
 Thanks for checking in, and stop by again for more of "Life in the Dating Lane"!!
~Paula 8/16/2005 The Baseball PlayerI'm back for another lane in this crazy field trip we have been on!! This one is another "creature from the deep" which I am sure for most of the women/men have found someone who has been like this in their lives...this one was a real trip...I hope you enjoy this one!!
Ah, a baseball player...I don't know what it is about men in any kind of uniform that gets to me, but this one did. In fact, we went to high school together, and I had a crush on him in high school, but that was when I was still attached to my "first love"...so that never went any where. Speed up to the Spring of 1999, I was an Resident Assistant (AKA: Recent High School Graduate Daycare) in college, and I had just arrived back home from my birthday/Spring Break vacation to PITTSBURGH, PA (I know...it is the NEW, and HOTTEST Spring Break LO-CAL since Florida!!!), I had went there to see the Pittsburgh Penguins play the Philladelphia Flyers on my birthday. It ROCKED!!! That was when Jaromir Jagr still played for the Pens. I had to stock up on groceries before I headed back to dorm-land, so I stopped at the local Cub Foods and was grabbing anything microwaveable. As I was walking though the store, someone said to me, "Nice jersey!". I turned around, and saw that it was this person that I went to junior high-high school with. We began to chat, and started up quite a nice conversation. I told him to call me the next time he was grilling out, because I was going to have to try and get away from the dorm food! So, he took my number and that started this whole ball of TOE JAM rolling. I drive back to Menomonie, unload the car from Spring Break, laundry, and vacation....and get finally settled in when the phone rings. At first, I thought it was my mom, but nope...it was him...calling to say that it was nice to run into me today, and that he was going to be grilling out that upcoming weekend with some of his friends and wondered if I would like to come. I agreed, we chatted a little longer and then hung up the phone. At that point, I went into, "OH MY LORD, WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR???" mode. However, when you are an RA for over 40 FRESHMAN GIRLS, they know what's "in", and LOVE TO PLAY DRESS-UP. So, that Friday morning, they did. Leopard print everywhere. I didn't want to dissapoint them, so I left it on the whole time. They even did my hair and make-up. Yea, I looked like I just got picked up off of some "Seventeen" magazine cover shoot, only on some bad CORNER of the block. I drive back to Eau Claire, and get to his place...walk up the stairs to his upper apartment (IN HEELS MIND U), and we met at the door. He brought me in, introduced me to his fish (that's key...KNOW WHO THE PETS ARE AND IF THEY CAN KILL YOU AT ANY MOMENT), then he told me he had to go to the grocery store to get the food for the grill out. Great, here I am looking like I am going to a modeling photo shoot, and HE has to go to the grocery store...O.K. We went, which was just a blast seeing the reactions on people's faces as we walked by. It was almost funny, just to see what people were looking at...ME!!!!! We get back to his place, and start up the grill and his friends started to arrive. No one that had been to high school with us, just new friends of his. So, we grilled out, listened to 80's tunes, talked, watched some T.V. and then his friends left. I had brought a bag of clothes to change into incase I stayed at my parents house that night, but I didn't. I stayed there. The first few weeks of this new relationship were O.K., until I began to realize that I was the one doing all the running (as in driving back and forth from school to his place), and that his attitude was changing very quickly.
He played baseball on a minor-league team in Chippewa Falls, WI. They were O.K., no professionals on the team mind you. They played almost every weekend. I drove down almost every weekend. I would stay at his place when I came down to watch his games, and began to see him getting annoyed very easily. One time I remember we had just gotten up for the morning, and he looked at me and said, "Are you still here? Don't you ever leave? You are driving me crazy!" He felt as if I was "invading his space", personally when you are dating don't you think that being a part of the other person's space would be included??? He lived in a small apartment, so I could understand where he would feel cramped in, but why he would not COMMUNICATE WITH ME about this BEFORE he blew up I will never know. Our relationship went down from that point on, we had more downs than ups in our dating. The next event that showed me that he really did not want to be with me was his sister's wedding. The night before the wedding, we attended the rehursal dinner at a local Italian eatery. Everything was going well, until his sister and her husband to be started a fight. (yea, it was just peachy) Him and I sat there and watched, I felt out of place, and his mother made the most unbelieveable comment when she said to me, "You know this is a wedding not a funeral, I hope the dress you wear tomorrow isn't black!" I was wearing a nice spaghetti strap dress with small red and pink roses on it, with a pink short sweater over the top. I was about ready to crawl under my seat. He stood up for me and told her that I looked wonderful. I think that was the only time he ever said anything nice in front of me. The next day was the wedding... He shot the wedding video as I sat and watched. Before the wedding, I helped to get the flowers that were forgotten to be picked up, and helped his sister get ready for her big day. The wedding went smoothly, and afterwards I was not sure what was going on next. He sent me to the hotel where relatives were supposed to be setting up for the reception. I left, got to the hotel, and NO ONE was there. I couldn't call anyone, I had yet to meet any of his relatives besides his mom, dad and sister, so I was stuck. I had no clue what to do next. I walked around the hotel a little while and then just sat on a bench by the banquet room waiting. About 10 minutes later his mom shows up, and says to me, "Hi dear, Brian is still taking pictures over at the church and he wanted me to come over here and keep you company." Nice guy... So his mother, some other members of the family and myself set up the room for the reception. They had made up place cards as to where everyone was going to sit for dinner. His mother INSISTED that I sit at the head table with 'HIM', while he insisted that I should sit ELSEWHERE. I agreed with him, seeing that I was not in the wedding party, I should not sit at the head table. His mother won that argument, and he was NOT happy the rest of the evening. I tried to eat, but was put off by being shuffled around before the reception and the way him and his family were treating me. He drank more and more as the night went on, and once he had a few champaign drinks in him, he was calming down a little. We went outside to take some pitcures with him, and his sister and family. I took the pictures, and then his SISTER insisted that him and I get a photo seeing that we looked "so cute together" (that always makes me want to puke when I hear anyone say that). We got the pictures taken, and then went back in to help clean up. They did not have a dance, to try to save money, so the reception was over quite early. I helped pack things up, and then he said to me, "Let's get out of here...I'll race you back to my place!" Before we left I was worried about him because he had been drinking, and now was going to drive. He would not let me take him home at all. Thank the Lord that he made it home without getting in an accident, and or hurting someone else along the way. The morning after was the same as usual, he would get up, eat, and watch SportsCenter on ESPN. I might as well have been invisible. I think the fish and I got along better thn him and I did. That afternoon, we went over to his parents home where the new bride and groom were opening gifts. He had a baseball game that afternoon, but he didn't know if he was going to go or not. So, he told me to ride with him over to the party. I did. About an hour into the party, he had to leave so he could get ready for the game. I was left at his parents house, with HIS family, and no WAY to get back to my car which was at his place. I stayed at the party until the end, and asked if I could use the phone so I could call someone to come an pick me up and take me to my car. OH NO, the bride and groom were going that way, so they could take me back. Great, as if the day had just been great already...I got to my car, and drove to the basebal game. I had a bone to pick with this one. I was beyond mad!!! I get to the game and it is still going on. I sat with another one of the baseball girlfriends, and told her what happened. I didn't even talk to him the whole time I was there. The game got over, and he comes over to give me a big hug. AH, I DON'T THINK SO!!! He knew at that moment that the POOP WAS GOING TO FLY!!! I hounded him all the way to the parking lot where I began to cry. I felt like I was second to everything...I was so upset. He appoligized and told me that he knew he should have stayed there, but he had to be at the game. I turned and told him HE COULD DO ANYTHING HE WANTED, HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE AT THE GAME! FAMILY IS MORE IMPORTANT! He agreed, and I already had my car packed with my stuff from the weekend, so I got in my car and headed back to school for another week.
During that week, he would call to see how I was and if I was still mad at him. Well, if the "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" response didn't give him any idea, he was dumber than I thought. He acted as if nothing at all was wrong, as if nothing had happened. He asked if I was going to come down for the games that coming weekend and I told him I would have to check my schedule and see if I was on duty for RA that weekend and would let him know. It usually came down to the fact that I had the weekend off, and was at the baseball games...We went out one night to one of the adult establishments and I ran into some of my old high school friends. I talked to them for a while, and they asked who I was with, I told them and they said, "Oh, that's nice..." Another reason why I had not talked to them in a while. I went back to him and his two friends, and danced with his friend's girlfriend when a good song came on. Her and I clicked because we both loved 80's music so when it came on, we were on the floor. I drove him home that night as his friends followed. His friends and I were trying to plan a suprise birthday party for him, and had little time to do it in, so we had to plan when we had the chance. We got back to his place, talked about the party and then they left, and I stayed. The next day it was his usual attitude of "are you still here"...so I left, went back to school and saw this relationship dying faster than anything. That coming weekend was his birthday. His friends and I were still planning his party even though he was being a pain in the... He was a HUGE Detriot Red Wings fan...I on the other hand, disliked the Red Wings, but we still got along. I bought him a jersey that he wanted for his birthday, Steve Yzerman, and got him a Detriot Red Wings cake. His friends old him to come over because they were going to grill out, just us and them for his birthday. He had caught on somehow, and figured out that we were having a surpise party for him. While we were setting up the party, he still had not shown up. Finally, he shows and makes a big stink out of everything. "I don't want a stupid party, this is dumb...blah, blah, blah" After he drank a few and talked with some of the friends who showed up to the party, he finally settled down. Except for with me. He did not want to talk to me at all. I told myself that was fine with me, and ended up playing with his friend's son instead. After a while, he was getting quite liquored up, and I thought it would be a good idea for him to go home. He had driven his car over there, and I was not about to have him driving after all he had to drink. So, I took him home, to his angry, "I COULD HAVE DROVE HOME ALL BY MYSELF" attitude, and he passed out shortly there after. The next day he was hung over, and mad that he had left his car there because he was going to be late getting to the game. I drove him over to get his car, and then he took off to the game. That afternoon at the game, some of his team-mates were asking who the pretty girl was sitting next to him. He replied, "I have no idea, she just follows me around." I looked at him, and then he said, "No, she's my girlfriend." OH, IF LOOKS COULD KILL, HE WOULD HAVE BEEN BURIED A LOOONNNNGGGG TIME AGO!!!!!!!! It got ugly from that moment on...
I would get calls from his friends and we would talk about what a jerk he was being, and how he was treating me. NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT TALK TO FRIENDS WHO ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS ORIGONALLY!!! All of these conversations came back to him, and all his friends were doing was trying to dig up stuff just to get him angry! We had a very bad break-up, obviously. I can't even believe I actually CRIED for him. How SAD is that??? I guess this one was a lesson in listening to what isn't being said, but being shown instead!!
UPDATE from me!!! I have met someone!!!!!!!! (I know, try not to get excited)...I put an ad on one of the personal sites online, and we have begun to chat online since yesterday. He seems like a total sweetheart, and I don't know how this one is going to go...but you never know!!! Keep checking in for further updates!!!!! 8/15/2005 Answers to your Questions about "Thunder"Hi everyone!!! I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was ok, nothing special. No dates (like that should suprise you???) I am going to answer a couple of questions that I have seen posted for comments on what happened to Thunder. I dd write it in a couple of earlier blogs but I can see where it would have ben easily missed. No worries...I am sure I can come up with some better, more COLORFUL words for what happened to THUNDER...
Thunder stood me up, as most of you know. He never called, infact he didn't call for well ALMOST 3 days after!!! Giving me the "I was working out of town, so I didn't get home until late." Ok, pick up a PHONE, or TWO CUPS AND A REALLY LONG STRING, MORON!!! So, during this conversation, I got the vibe that he wasn't telling me something...I was right. I asked him if he had a girlfriend, and told him since he stood me up, he had to be honest with me. He was...they are "on the rocks right now", so apparently that means when you are dating someone and are on the rocks...you can also hit on/try to go out with someone else. WRONG!!! Long story short, I told him seeing that they were "on the rocks", he should get some vodka and have a we're going to break-up party!!! I haven't heard from him since. It is for the best. I am not one to get in the middle of ay relationship that is even close to ending.
If they are not SINGLE (still attached), then they get the boot!!! I have to say however, that when I met "J", he was dating someone else. We did feel the connection between us, but I told him straight out that he had to deal with that, and make his own decision. I was not going to make him choose between her and I. He had to make that decision. So, in that case, yes he was dating someone when we met, but nothing happened between us until THEY were completely over.
I will be writing more later today, I am not quite sure which one I will pick though...it's tough when you have to SCROUNGE to the bottom of the dated pool to figure out which one to write about...how sad is that???????
I hope you all have a WONDERFUL day and I will be back later with another lane of LIFE IN THE DATING LANE!!!
Thanks for stopping by!!!
~Paula 8/12/2005 My First Real Boyfriend...The Junior High - College RelationshipFor those of us who remember back to our first love, this one is for you. Although, after a while this one would be added to the "Creatures from the deep" file. You will understand why after you finish reading this one. Granted, I cannot recal all of the good/bad stuff from 9th grade until after college graduation, but I do remember some of the details. I hope you enjoy today's installment of "Life in the Dating Lane".
It was the beginning of the 9th grade. The times of New Kids on the Block, Corey Haim movies, and '80 music. His locker was on the opposite wall from mine, and me being the outgoing, friendly type I started talking to him from day one. He was shy, kind-of geeky looking, and didn't know anyone at school That's where I came in. I knew pretty much everyone. So, I introduced him to my friends, so that he would make some new friends on his first week of school. I don't remember much from back then, just that we began to like each other, and eventually began to "date". His mother and step-father were very critical of him dating at such a young age, so when we talked to each other on the telephone he would call me by men's names so that his mother would not find out he was talking to a girl. Once we got into high school, we were practically inseperable. He would leave me notes in my locker, in my school books, and other little places. It was all "cute", and "lovey-dovey" back then, the usual googly-eyed stuff. We would have our fights where we would brake up, get back together, break up, get back together. We spent almost all the holiday's together, even attending Catholic Midnight Mass on Christmas. Our relationship was like that all the way until our senior year in high school. That is when we started to get more serious. Our song, "Everything I Do", by Bryan Adams is one that still takes me back to those days. The end of our senior year was one where our relationship took that "big step" (the one that most people go through for the 'FIRST TIME' in their lives). From that point on, our relationship began to change more and more as time went by. I was planning on going off to college at UW-Stout which was about 25 miles away from Eau Claire, and he was staying here to go to UWEC. There was no guarantee that our relationship was going to survive with me living there, and him staying here. So, I made the decision to stay here in Eau Claire, and go to school in town instead of moving to Menomonie. To some extent, I know that was a bad decision for me, however on the other hand, I never would have met "J" (my cowboy) had I not gome to UWEC. We were fighting more and more as the time passed in college. I remember when he went skiing with his older brother in Colorado instead of being here for my birthday. It was what happened after he came home from that trip that broke my heart forever.
He came over to my parents house to give me a birthday card. I remember the look in his eyes, and knew that something was wrong. I found out that day, on my birthday, that he had been seeing his older brother's ex-girlfriend for about a month. (The same brother he went skiing with, and who hated me desperately because I was taking him away too much...) I was devistated. I thought that he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with, we had been together for so long, I couldn't see myself with anyone else.
They married shortly there after, and are now living in Rochester, MN and have 3 children. I know that we had our times of garbage, times of happiness, and even times of being in love, however sometimes God does things that you don't understand, nor ever will understand. I have always thought that after this relationship ended I would never find love again. This was the longest relationship I have had in my life, and I sometimes joke that he had a curse put on me so that I would never be happy, or find love again. The anger and hurt that I had from this relationship, caused me to put up walls, and have a lack of trust in people. Although we did have some bad times, I have to say he was not as bad as some of the other "creatures of the deep" that you have read about.
If it wasn't for him I never would have met "J". So, in some ways, the road we travel may not always be the best road, but at that time, it is the one we were meant to be on.
ROAD LESS TRAVELED Two roads diverged in a yellow wood And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth Then took the other as just as fair And having perhaps the better claim Because it was grassy and wanted wear Though as for that, the passing there Had worn them really about the same And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet, knowing how way leads onto way I doubted if I should ever come back I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence Two roads diverged in a wood And I took the one less traveled by And that has made all the difference Robert Frost 8/10/2005 The Truck Driver / Mr. NASCAR / Pathological LiarHi again everyone!! Tonight's blog entry is brought to you by the number 17, and the phrase, THIS ONE IS A REAL TOOL!! Enjoy!!!
We met at a grand re-opening celebration of the local Farm & Fleet store. You are from the country if you actually know what that store is. And, no it is not the redneck version of Victoria's Secret. The store had brought in two NASCAR show cars. My favorite, Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s #8 Bud car, and Matt Kenseth's #17 DeWalt Tools Car. I was all decked out for the occasion, in my Dale Jr. jacket, a nice pair of black dress pants, and a white t-shirt. My mom and I went to of course see the #8 car seeing as though I could hear it calling me from about 15 miles away...and take pictures of the (hack, hack) #17 car for my brother-in-law, and nephew. I was walking around with mom, and we were taking a TON of pictures of the #8 car, and people were even asking if I was Jr.'s girlfriend (let's just say the folks that were there that day were well...BRILLIANT, obviously...) . Then we kept walking around, looking at all the different booths, and talking to some friends we had ran into. After getting the pictures I wanted of the #8 car, and me next to the #8 car (seeing that Jr's girlfriend has that option you know...ha, ha, ha)...it was the dreaded photo taking of the #17 car. He is not one of my favorites, I know he is a Wisconsin boy, but he has never been one of my favorites. We get over by the car, and this guy practically JUMPS over the display in front of him to tell me that I had the wrong jacket on. I of course, told him where he could take his "TOOL" and use it....he was "showing off" for the #17 show car fans, and I on the other hand was flirting with the other guy standing there. They both worked for National Tour Company, and were LUCKY enough to get to drive the #17 show car around the country. (unfortunately in this case, not out of the country) He kept on with his ranting and raving of my outfit, and how Matt Kenseth is the best driver in NASCAR today. Blah, blah, blah... After mom said she was done taking pictures, I was ecstatic to get out of the vicinity of that "bumble bee" car. I wanted to go and talk to a friend of mine who was there with the mobile D.J. equipment, and mom needed to use the ladies room, so we separated and as soon as mom was out of sight, the #17 guy was all around me like bees on honey. He was asking questions, telling me all about the #17 car, and then he handed me a #17, Matt Kenseth collectible photo. OH, just what I always wanted. I thanked him, and he walked away like a dog who just got scorned for peeing on the floor. I felt bad, and so I went back and thanked him. He apologized for being so forward, and then he explained that, "he had never seen such an amazingly beautiful woman like me before". I fell for it... How I could have fell for it, I will NEVER know, but I did. He asked if I would like to have dinner with him that night at the local Boston's, which was right near my house. I said I wasn't sure, and that I would have to see what I had going on. He gave me his number and told me that him and the other guy were going to be at Boston's around 9 P.M. Mom came back by this point, and we left, not knowing what kind of a "trip" was yet to come.
I got home, and pondered going to Boston's. He was nice, not the greatest looking, but he had a great sense of humor, which overrides looks 100% in my book. I got dressed, nothing fancy, blue jeans, a shirt, and my leather Harley Jacket. I paced my place for a while, wondering if I should go or not. I thought to myself, it is a public place, tons of people there, I can leave when ever I want, and everything will be fine. I got in my car and proceeded to Boston's. I saw the #17 car hauler in the hotel parking lot next door to Boston's, so I figured they would already be in there. I go in...neither of them were there. So, I called...he was in the shower at the hotel because him and the cute guy had just got done up at the store, and got in late. He told me I could either wait for him at Boston's, or come over to the hotel lobby and wait. I opted for the restaurant, seeing that I was not much up for going into a hotel to "wait" for a man. He showed up (ALONE) about 5 minutes later, and told me that his co -worker had to call in the work for the day. I was apprehensive about being alone with him at the restaurant, but I calmed down after a while. This was the first night of a VERY, VERY rocky relationship.
Fast forward 3 months...he had been on the road with the show car for the entire time and our relationship was based off of 2-3 hour phone calls, 3-4 times a week. He would tell me about his past relationships (1 marriage, two children), NASCAR, NASCAR, NASCAR, and then he would go into this "what are you wearing" (stalker) kind of act. It got old after a while. A month later, he was scheduled to fly into Eau Claire for a week long visit. We were both excited, and it was his birthday the day he flew in. I had dinner made, his favorite kind of cake, and decorations galore! He gets off the plane, and immediately begins to complain, whine and yell about everything under the sun. I knew that this was just going to be a great week!!! We get back to my house, and he was still in a GREAT mood. My two cats Maximus and Jagr greeted us at the door, and well, Jagr and him didn't see eye to cat's eye. He sat down for dinner and said to me, "This place is too small! I feel claustrophobic already and I just walked in!" After dinner, he wanted to lay down and take a nap because he was tired from the flight. He goes into my bedroom, looks and the twin bed, and gets in a tizzy and tells me he wants to go and stay in the hotel. (I AM A SINGLE WOMAN...I DO NOT NEED A KING SIZED BED!) I told him to go ahead. I wasn't going to hold him back. He stayed, and the rest of his vacation was well, quite a nightmare. He let Jagr out the front door because the cat kept hissing at him (NOTE TO SELF, LISTEN TO CAT NEXT TIME), threw a screaming fit and walked out of the house...I told him to have a nice trip. He came back...(God, I hate when they do that) and then was all "lovey dovey" for the last two days of the "vacation from hell". He went to leave on the following Sunday morning, and I was feeling miserable. I felt like I had been hit by a cement roller and left for dead. I had a fever, could not swallow, or talk much for that matter. I was miserable. Mom came over, picked us both up, we dropped him off at the airport and then headed to the Urgent Care at the local clinic. 25 minutes later...LADIES AND GENTS, I HAVE TONSILLITIS!!! Never had this before a day in my life, and I was sick for over a month. I went from weighing 145 to 110 lbs. in that time. Did I get any type of "get well soon" attitude from him...ha...yea right...
It was back to our phone calls, and that was it. The biggest thing about him was that from the time I met him to the time after he left from the "vacation from hell" he "worked for Matt Kenseth", "knew everyone in NASCAR", and "knew everything there was to know about anyone in NASCAR". Mind you, he REALLY worked for a Public Relations firm called National Tour, but to him, HE WORKED FOR NASCAR! Another FUN part of him was all his sad, sad stories he would tell me. The two best include one of his ex-wife, and one about his daughter.
The Ex-Wife:
His first wife was in a terrible accident. She was pinned between a car and a building (if I remember correctly) and ended up in the hospital with no positive outlook for survival. He was by her side every single day, along with their two children. The doctors only gave her a months to live. She did not want him or the children to have to see her live like this any longer, and asked them to let her go. So, he made the difficult decision to pull the plug 16 years ago.
The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth:
He had been married, and had two children with this woman named Barb. She was NEVER in an accident, and she is ALIVE AND WELL. They have been divorced for about 16 years. (found out all of this information from his mother) Apparently, they didn't get along very well and he was WISHING she was dead. SAD!!!! HOW SAD IS THAT??!!!!
Not only had he been married ONCE, he had been married TWICE!!! The second marriage lasted only a few months with a woman who took off with his money! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!
Apparently, being on the road so long really gets your imagination going!!!
The Kids:
His two children were excellent children! The son was a college student at Oklahoma State University where he was a big rodeo star. The daughter was a college student at the University of Florida (Gators), she was majoring in modeling and was going to be a professional model. The story he told me about his daughter... She was in a local park with her best girl friend when they were beaten, severely s**ually assaulted, and left for dead. A woman came along with her dog and found both girls, and called 911. "DAD" immediately flew down to Florida to be with her in the hospital. She was permanently blind in the left eye, would never have children, broken ribs, broken leg, and massive cuts to the face. Him and his son rented an R.V., and drove her back home to their multi-million dollar home back in NY. JUST TWO DAYS AFTER SHE WAS BROUGHT INTO THE HOSPITAL. I asked him if I could get an address for the house so I could send her a get well card. (I was thinkin' here...) He gave me the address for the "great house" and told me that he might not be able to talk to me for a week or so, seeing that he was going to help get his daughter home and comfortable.
The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth:
He does have two children...a boy and a girl. NOTHING ever happened to his daughter, he made it up. Tears and all. He does not live in a HUGE house in NY, in fact, the address he gave me was for his sister and her husband. When he comes home from being on the road he stays with his mother in their MOBILE HOME!!!
BUSTED:
He called me one night about 3 days after "he had taken his daughter home". I asked him why he wasn't staying with her, he replied calmly, "She told me to go back to work, that she didn't want me around because I was a guy. She only wanted to be around women because of what happened, it's a real trust thing, you know." I knew alright... I knew everything. I began telling him that his wife had been resurrected from the dead, that he lived in a trailer with his mother, and that his daughter is absolutely fine. HEADS UP!! THIS IS WHERE HE GETS NASTY!!! At that moment, I was a lying, cheating, cold-hearted B***H, who had no idea of life, the real world, or what I was talking about. Then I stopped him in his tracks and told him I had spoken to his mother, and that she was a very wonderful lady. He told me to go...well you know, and then told me that his mother is in a mental hospital. Yea, right next to where HE SHOULD BE!!!
The moral of this story... Don't always believe everything you hear from someone unless you actually spend more than one week with them!!! This guy is the epitome of TRASH. Ladies, stay away from this one...if any of you out there think you might know this guy...RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF HIM!!!! Take it from me, you DO NOT want to be in this lane of traffic!!!
Stop back tomorrow for another "lane" in this life of mine!!!
Thanks for reading!!!
 8/9/2005 Answers to your questions about "The Sports Guy"I did receive a couple of questions regarding the "Sports Guy", so I thought I would take a moment and answer them for you...
1.) How did I find out about the "roster"?
Well, I didn't know there was anyone else until about a month into our dating. I was feeling as if everything was going along fine, when I started to hear about the other women. There was Meg, she was number one, who apparently was untouchable and didn't want to date him (SMART WOMAN), and then there was the girl from Minnesota with the broken ankle, then me, then "Old Stand-By Beth" as he called her. It was like he was at a restaurant and was trying to choose from the desserts on the dessert tray! I was home on a Saturday afternoon and remember I had planned a movie night with my neighbor that night, when the phone rang. It was him. He needed a date for the TV station's Christmas Party, and "his other date had a broken ankle and couldn't make it". He called at 1:00 P.M., the party started at 6:00 P.M. I told him that I had already made plans for the night, and I wasn't sure if I could make it. I honestly do not know WHY it was that I went to this day. Maybe it was the fact that they had Karaoke and I was a Karaoke Queen...I could sing up a storm...so I went. It was actually fun...and he acted like we were "actually a couple". HA, HA, HA!!! Need I say, that this man's motto was "It's all about me!". He never cared about anyone but himself. He has no heart, and I don't think he ever will. Anyone who actually dates this "creature" will learn that sometimes the "more fish in the sea" line, does not include SESPOOLS!!!
2.) Where did I pick this "creature" up from?
He started talking to me at a local college hockey game, and then we went out for our first "date" with 2 other guys from the station about a week later. Sometimes, I just tell people that I found him when I was looking for BigFoot, and instead came home with DUMB NUT!!!!!!!
I hope I answered all the questions that I saw in the comments section...I won't be writing tonight unfortunately, I have to set up a computer that I purchased for my mom today and I am EXTREMELY tired!!!
OH!!! I almost forgot to tell you.... Not only did we have storms here today, but THUNDER CALLED!!! That's right, Mr. Stand-Me-Up #2 called me up and explained that he didn't get home from work until late because he was up working in Minnesota. IT'S CALLED A CALLING CARD, A CELL PHONE, TWO CUPS AND A REALLY LONG STRING, MORON!!! Then I got a vibe that he wasn't telling me something...I couldn't quite grasp it, but I knew it was something big. So, I said to him, (just out of a sheer guess) "You have a girlfriend don't you??" No answer... I thought maybe we had lost our connection between the two cups...(ha, ha...) A long pause was heard and then I told him to just be honest with me...he then replied that they were "on the rocks". I told him to take those rocks, add a little vodka, and have a great break-up party with himself! So, I guess my "quiet, shy, inverted, multiple personality, schizophrenic, broken hearted demeanor" has just been THROWN OUT THE WINDOW!!! That was a joke, I do not have any of those mental issues, just the broken heart...
I apologize that there is no Lane #2 tonight...I will be back on tomorrow and have hopefully a COUPLE of lanes of the book for you!!!
Thanks for checking in!!
Paula The Storm That Never Came...And, "The Sports Guy" from my "book"I now have a "Mr. Stood-Me-Up #2". That's right. The "Thunder" never came, never called, nothing. I figure that at this rate, if I have ONE more "stand-me-up", I will have a record for three stand up's in less than 2 months. SOMEONE CALL RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT!, AND THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS...THIS COULD BE A BIG ONE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! (I say that with a twindge of sarcasm, just one more free service I offer!)
As I thought about today, and all the comments I have recieved about my "thought provoking questions"...I have come to the conclusion that there are many of you out there who would like me to write the book I was origionally going to write on here. So, I will. I may mix it up a little bit now and then, but keep checking in, you never know what is going to happen on this road next!!! Thank you again for all of your wonderful comments...it really helps to motivate me to write!!
I want to start with one that is, by far the funniest, yet DUMBEST dates I have ever had. The sports guy. Now, if he were to read this, his ego would burst because as he always said, "I don't care about how other people feel...it's all about me!" Yes...those four words that I could have choked him with..."It's all about me!" This is one lane ladies, you DO NOT want to go down...it is NOT WORTH THE DRIVE!!!
We met at a UW-Eau Claire Women's Ice Hockey game. I was working for the team selling team memorabilia, and he was taping the game for the 10 P.M. report. I was going up to the music box, and saw him taking a break eating. He said hello, and I said hello in return. I sat down for a minute to watch the game, and we started up a conversation. Nothing extravagant mind you, just minor chit-chat. I left, to finish what I was doing, and then headed back down stairs. When he was going to leave, he stopped by the booth where I was and asked if I wanted to go to a local resturaunt to hang out for a while with him and some of the other people he knew from the station. I wasn't sure, but he gave me his number and told me to call him if I ever wanted to go out sometime. After the game, I stopped over to the resturaunt, and it was packed full of people!! I was looking around for him, and could not see him at all. So, I called on my cell phone. He answered, and I said, "I am here at the resturaunt, but I don't see you. Are you here?" He replied, "Turn around and look straight ahead." Sure enough...there he was standing up waving at me only two tables from where I was standing. I sat with him and the others for a while, and began to get tired. I told him I was thinking about leaving, and he told me that he was too. We walked out to our respective cars, and he says to me, "You want to come over an meet my dog?" I thought to myself in silence, "That was the LAMEST LINE I have ever heard!"
Ten minutes later, I am at his house, meeting BUDDY. Buddy and I immediately bonded! (I have a bond with animals that tends to be stronger than my bonds with men...or so it seems)
Fast forward 1 month. At this point, our relationship, if you want to call it that had come to; calls to my house at 1, 2, or 3 A.M. when he was finished working, pop-ins to visit, watch movies and snack on whatever I had left in my freezer, and driving to his house at all hours of the night after HE was done with work to watch re-runs of "Seinfeld", or "Curb Your Enthousiasm"... I usually just played with Buddy, or fell asleep on the couch.
Fast forward to "The TV Station Holiday Party". I did not know about this party ahead of time, nor did I know I was going to be attending. Until 3 hours before the party and he needed a date. "His original date had stood him up". Oh, cry me a river... Been there, done that... I went, and actually had a good time! We danced, sang Karoke, and had a great dinner. His favorite song of all time was, Patty Loveless "Blame It On Your Heart"...now I didn't know at the time WHY this was his favorite song, but in the days to come...I found out REAL quick what this "PIECE OF WORK" was all about.
In the days to follow, he would turn from Jeckyl to Hyde in 2.5 seconds flat. One minute, he was Mr. Romance, and the next he was "It's All About Me". I came to learn very shortly after the party about what he was really all about. He was 45 years old (going on 12), and he had a ROSTER of women (he is a sportscaster afterall...might as well keep it sports related). I was at that moment, #1 on the roster...#2 was a girl named Meg, whom he wanted, but couldn't get because she was dating someone else...#3 was a young lady who attends the U of Minnesota who was SUPPOSED to be his date for the party but broke her foot so she was "bumped" down on the "roster", and #4 was as he called her "Old Stand-By Beth". Remember that...it will come in handy as I go on.
He also had a theory about dating. Ladies, if you ever want to know just HOW bad this guy is...this THEORY will explain everything...
"The Dating Is Like Golf Theory":
You are out on the course one day, you have your favorite set of clubs, and your favorite ball. One ball that you really like to use because it seems to do quite well on the course. One shot, you accidentally hit that favorite ball into the woods. You go looking for it and end up finding 4-5 different balls which are all somewhat better than the ball you originally had. So, you decide to pick up those 4-5 balls and use them for a while instead. Until the next time you hit one of them into the woods and find more "better" golf balls. This cycle continues until you run out of balls (no pun intended)...
In Dating Terms:
He is dating one girl who he likes and does things with on a somewhat regular basis. He goes out with the guys, and finds "fresh meat" that sparks his interests and decides to get their numbers and maybe take them out once or twice to see what they are like. So, the original girl has now been placed on a roster with these other women, in order of looks, personality, etc... Now, in his case he would have a date with #1 on Friday night, #3 on Saturday, and #2 on Sunday depending on their availabilty. The next week, he may see #2 Friday night, #1 on Saturday, and #3 on Sunday. It all depended on various things...if he started to feel that say #2 was not someone he would want to date any more, he would drop her down on the roster, or cut her off the roster completely. Then go back out and find someone to replace her.
To say what really happened in this relationship, I will quote him..."I don't know if I want to see you any more. I had lunch yesterday with Beth (A.K.A OLD STAND-BY BETH) and we really had a great time. So, I think I am going to be seeing her for a while. This was told to me at 6:30 A.M. on a Sunday morning, I was barely awake, and he told me to take my stuff and go home. I haven't talked to him since. Ok, except for heckling him at the Predator's games when he has to tape for the 10 o'clock news...and I say nice things like, "Hey, Bob you mean to tell me they let you out of the asylum for the day??" or "How's your golf game going, Bob? Find your balls lately?" It just comes to me...I can't help it. I know, it is mean, cruel and heartless. But, it makes me laugh, and laughter is the best medicine for a broken heart, after all.
The one thing I miss the most, the dog...Buddy. I loved Buddy. He was a chocolate lab and, after about a month of him and I dating, Buddy would greet me at the door instead of him. I think he got jealous. I guess it just goes to show that sometimes, you really need to make sure your date has his balls in order before you decide if you really want to play a "round" or not. To be continued...
8/7/2005 The "Predator"It is the day after the big game, unfortunately the Predators lost by 2 points in the final minutes of the 4th Quarter. I would have writen last night when I got home, but after the game there was a get together for both of the teams, their families, friends, and fans at the local Grizzly's Grill and Saloon. So, I will catch you up on what happened yesterday before, during and after the game...
Before the game, I was sitting in the park waiting for the gates to open. I hear a "hey baby" whistle come from behind me. I turned around and there, standing by his truck was John. I waved casually, without enthousiasm and went back to reading the magazine I had brought with me. Again, I hear the whistle, even louder this time...I turned around, and John was waving at me and blew me a kiss. I again, casually waved and went back to my reading. The gates opened up at 4 P.M. CST, and I went in to find a place to sit. I knew being the last home game of the season, it was going to be a full house. I put my blanket, and seat cushion at my usual spot, and then went to get some cold water from the consession stand. I see some of the other people that I have met though these games and decided to go over and chat with them in the shade for a while. I was getting up to go grab another water because it was quite hot, and John was walking towards me. He smiles, and gives me a big hug. He asks me if I have seen his Dad or his sister Kayla yet. I said no, and he asked if I could watch the back gate because they were going to be bringing his Grandfather in through the back gate seeing he was in a wheelchair. I told him I would keep my eyes open for him, and open the gates for them. After about an hour, they were still not there, so I went to go back to my seat. John came out from the locker room, as I was walking by, and asked if they had shown up yet. I told him no, and walked to my seat. The game started, and his family finally showed up about 3 minutes into the first quarter. The game was good, but it was very hot sitting in the sun, and it was quite humid as well. After the game was over, John's sister Kayla asked if I would take some pictures of John and her family, and their father. I agreed, and went out on to the field. I started taking pictures (which have been added to my Predator's Football album), and then the coach invited the fans to Grizzlies Grill and Saloon, for a get together after the game. I was not sure if I was going to attend or not at that point. I went to leave for my car, and saw "the one who stood me up" Tad Moeller, putting his stuff in the back of his truck. I pondered asking him why he stood me up...then NAILED HIM with the "Mr. Moeller...how are you doing? Great...So, why is it that you stood me up??" He gave me the "Ah, well, I have been hit in the head one too many times, and I am really sorry." I do agree with the being hit in the head comment, but I wonder how many women had to hit him upside the head with that BRICK to get him to be that stupid??? I was proud of myself for asking why he stood me up, I usually would not ask. I would try to hide or run away.
I was debating on if I should just go home or if I should go to Grizzlies. It was one of those, "hang with the guys, or go home to the cats" moment. I decided to go to Grizzlies. By far, that was one of the best decisions I could have made!! I had SO much fun!!
I sat at the bar and played a game called "Photo Match" with Todd Trapp, who after about 5 beers, and 4 Jagermeisters (I don't know if that is spelled right), I was kicking butt and takin' names!! And to think, this guy is a DETECTIVE for the Eau Claire Police Department. Sitting on the other side of me was another one of the Predator's, Thunder Marion. Yes, his name is Thunder!!! We started chatting and found out that we were in some of the same classes at college our first semester in 1998, that my friend Moe used to be friends with him and I used to cheer Thunder on when he played for the UW-Stout Blue Devils!!! I was amazed at all the things that we had in common, and that during the time I was starting college (the "Jeff" era), Thunder and I were "two ships passing in the night". Thunder wanted to leave the bar, and so I invited him over to my place to continue our great conversation! So, we came to my house, and talked until almost 2:30 A.M. CST!!! It was amazing at how much we had in common, and how much we clicked!!! It was nice!!! We even took a couple of pictures so that I could post them on here!! He was a gentleman all night, and when he went to leave, it was one of "those moments". Then, he just did it. He put his hands on my face and just kissed me! I lost all thought processes, and let's just say that I saw LIGHTNING with that "THUNDER" kiss!!!
Who knows where this one will lead...one day at a time!! Keep checking back to see what happens when the Thunder calls!!!
Talk to you soon!!!!
Paula 7/11/2005 Being Stood UpSo we had a date, Friday, July 8th, 2005. We were going to watch a movie at my place knowing that the theaters would be insane with the release of 'The Fantastic 4'. No problem. The time was set for when he was finished with work (he is a plumber...this will come in handy later on in this blog). I was excited seeing as though I have not had a date in a while, and he seemed to be a very nice guy, plays semi-pro football, and well, wasn't really that bad looking...
The day started off pretty rough. I was in a fender-bender (my front fender mostly) right off the bat, and hit my head on the steering wheel. Ok, so I had a slight concussion with paw prints on my forehead, no big deal...they would both go away with some Tylenol, and an ice pack. No problem. I get back home after that glorious start to the day, and realize that my apartment does not only need to be cleaned, but needed a day long scrubbing!!! So, I cleaned for over 3 hours, finally getting everything where it needed to go, and shoving everything else in the living room closet. I then headed to the grocery store where I picked up "movie munchies"...popcorn, candy, and soda. A mixture of everything because I didn't know exactly what he liked. (Total spent = $35.67) Looking like the witch from The Wizard of Oz, I threw myself in the shower to make myself look like I had done nothing all day...it took more than soap to make that happen... I get dressed in blue jeans, a black tank-top, and a red zip-up sweater (seeing as though it is about 45 degrees in my apartment with the air conditioning on). I did my hair (and I must say that it looked GOOD for a change!!!), put on a little make-up, I didn't want him to think that I went "all-out" trying to impress him or anything... At that point, I was ready... it was 6:30 P.M. I figured that he would be finishing work around 7, and by the time he drove down from Menomonie, I would have everything ready to roll.
Tick, tick, tick...8:30 P.M. no call...I call to see when he is going to be arriving, and he says to me "I have someone on the other line...I will call you back O.K., sweetie?" Sure, no big deal, I can handle waiting a few more minutes, he was going to call me back, that is what he said anyway.
Tick, tick, tick...9:30 P.M. I am beginning to starve from not eating much all day, due to the concussion, and am getting a little annoyed by the time. I didn't really feel up to watching a 2 - 3 hour movie at Midnight. I try calling one more time...all I get is his cell phone voice mail. A.K.A. He has shut his phone off. I got a little upset, so I headed to Culvers to find dinner. A chicken sandwich and a banana split. I have found that ice cream helps to numb the "That jerk, I must find him and permanently disable him in some way!!!" feelings.
It is now Monday, July 11th, 2005 and still no call...no explanation...no apoligies...no rain checks...nothing. After telling every one of my friends what occurred, I have come to the conclusion that (this is where the occupation of him being a plumber comes in), I just keep getting sh*t. |
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