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7/6/2007 My Summer DietOnce spring arrived, I weighed myself and was at 145 pounds. I vowed that I was going to lose what I like to call my "winter weight" before August. Which was 15 pounds... After losing the candy, and calories, I am now down to 134 pounds. I have been eating 100 calorie treats when I get the sugar craving, for breakfast I eat Special K Eggo Waffles, and I try to walk the dog atleast 3 times a day. (weather permitting). I like the way that I can still eat good food and not gain weight! I have been eating more fruit, vegetables, and drinking TONS of water! I think that is one of the best ways to lose weight, just drink a lot of water! I am hoping to lose at least 5 more pounds before the end of July! So, here is to my summer diet, and getting back into the jeans I wore in college! (they are a size 8, so I don't think that will be a problem!!)
I will be back to update soon!
~Peace 4/25/2007 New NameAs you may have already seen, I changed the title to my space. I was debating on calling it Save the Planet, Not the Cheerleaders...but I didn't want to anger any cheerleaders out there. So, this is what I came up with. After celebrating Earth Day this past Sunday, I was more compelled to change the world in a good way than sit around and complain and talk about my crappy relationships that happened in the past. Who cares???!!! Really...there are more important things in life than how someone treats you in your life. Maybe I saw it as "letting go of the past". I don't know. But, it's time to start a new phase in my life and that is to do everything I can to make a difference in this world. One step at a time. Today, I am going to clean house! I am going to go through everything I have and get rid of the clutter!! Recycling anything I can, and donating the rest to a local charity! I am going to make a challenge for anyone who reads my blog each day to do something to save the planet somehow! Weither it is changing to a more efficent light bulb in your home, or to recycle something!
I am in a group on Yahoo called "Freecycle", which is based ALL OVER the country. There are freecycles in almost every city and state around. Freecycle is a group where if you have something you are no longer using, instead of throwing it into the garbage, see if someone else would like it! This helps to keep the landfills a little cleaner and also helps someone who may not have the ability to purchase that item at regualr costs. THIS IS ALL FREE. You post the item(s) on the group site and if someone wants them, they will come and pick them up. Also, if there is something on there that someone else is giving away that you need, send them a reply e-mail for it! You never know what people give away on there! Remember...you are not selling anything! You are giving it away to someone who needs it!
So, for today, I challenge you to go to Yahoo Groups, search "Freecycle" and see if there is one where you live and start CLEANING HOUSE!!! Let me know how you do and what you think about the group!! You will be amazed at what you can get rid of, and what you might even find that you need!!!
Good Luck and keep me posted!!
Peace~
Paula 9/10/2006 Broken...This past Thursday my mom fell and broke her hip. She has been in the hospital since then and will be having surgery on Monday, September 11th. As if that day wasn't bad enough, now I have to worry about my mom not making it through surgery. As some of you may know from prior blogs of mine, she has Congestive Heart Failure. A surgery like this is more risky with someone in her condition than for a normal person. The doctors have had to wait until Monday for the surgery because of the blood thinners that she is on for her heart and because the oxygen in her blood is a little low. Sleep for me has been minimal, as my mind has been playing every possible scenario that it can think of. The doctor that will be doing the surgery I have heard from neighbors and friends is one of the best in the area. In some way that should make me feel better...however it is not. The fear for me is greater than any other emotion right now. People tell me to think positive, and that this is a "routine" procedure. Thinking positive, for me is not something that is natural. I am always thinking the worst so that I can prepare myself incase something bad does happen. As far as this being a routine procedure, sure it may be...but for my mom and her heart...this is by no means routine.
I am exhausted...emotionally, physically, and mentally. I try to keep a strong attitude for my mom, but when I am not at the hospital or talking with her on the phone...I am anything but strong. I have attached some photos of my mom in here for you all to see.....
Please keep us in your thoughts, we could use some good news right now....
Thank you...
Peace 7/24/2006 Home Sweet Home....FinallyMom was "set free" from the hospital on Saturday afternoon, and she was ready to leave! It was nice to get her home, and settled back into the house. My sister and her two kids have been here now for a week, and it is nice to have someone else to take care of mom for a little while.
My stress level has increased, as has my depression. Trying to take care of my 62 year old mother, my alcoholic father, and now my sister and her children has my stress level above and beyond it's normal level. My sister and her children are not that hard to take care of, but the kids have toooo much energy for me to try to keep up with. While my mom was in the hospital, I was not taking care of myself because I was too worried about mom. I didn't eat well (the hospital food wasn't bad), I didn't sleep because I was too worried, and every time the phone rang...I worried that it was the hospital calling with a change in my mom's health. The depression hit me when I was sitting in the emergency room a week ago Friday morning. I had gotten the call from my father at 8:30 AM, and was at the hospital within 20 minutes. Once I got there...dad left. My uncle had to come down to pick up mom because she couldn't get into my dad's truck, so my dad was more worried about my uncle sitting in the waiting room than he was about his own wife.
I remember seeing my mom lying there in the bed, dozing off to sleep because she did not get any sleep the night before because her leg was hurting so bad. I sat down in a chair next to her, and I lost it. I tried to not let my mom know I was crying so that she wouldn't start crying too. Mom has always been like that. If I cry, she cries. She would wake up, look over at me and say, "I'm going to be OK. Don't cry." Then she would go back to sleep. I had NO clue what was going on with her. My dad did not tell me anything before he left about if she was going to be OK, or not. So, I was left there waiting for a doctor or nurse to come in and fill me in. I felt lost. I told my mom I was going to take a walk, that I loved her and I would be right back. I walked out of the ER, and into the hallway. I walked down to a lounge area of the hospital, and remember just sitting down and crying. I couldn't think, I couldn't talk...all I could do was cry. A family friend who works at the hospital as a chaplin saw me sitting there crying, came out and sat next to me. She took my hand and asked me what was wrong. I told her the situation as good as I could while crying, and she reassured me that my mom was a strong lady and that she would be just fine. At that moment however, I didn't know if my mom was going to live or die. I pulled myself together as good as I could in the situation and walked back down to the ER.
By that time, a doctor had come in to tell us that he was unable to get in touch with mom's cardiologist. Great...nice time for a vacation, DOC! So, they called in another cardiologist who works with my mom's doctor.
Mom was admitted to the hospital on Friday, July 14th at 10:00 AM. She was discharged on Saturday, July 22nd. A week and one day she spent in there...but she is feeling better, however still dealing with some water retention in her leg. Now that she is home and my sister is staying there with her two children, I am coming back down from a week of high anxiety, and living off of adrenaline.
As I write this, it is rainging out and my depression has begun to kick in again. This past week, I have gone through many emotions, and now I am sitting here trying to sort them all out. Sometimes, I can't even put a sentance together. I have questioned many things in my life as of late. Why it is that I am still unmarried at age 32, why I don't have any children (*besides my two cats*), why I seem to be so unhappy...then come the "what if's". Those two words are my biggest obstacle in life. I am now asking "what if" questions to myself. None of which I can answer. I am left after a week of stress and anxiety with feelings of being lost, pondering my present and future, wondering just where I am in my life and where I want to go. I have seen that life is short...I just don't want to waste any more precious time.
7/21/2006 Life...Well, it has been a week now since my mom has been in the hospital. She was taken in last Friday morning at 7 AM (cst), because her left leg was swollen, red, and she could not walk on it. As you may already know, my mom has congestive heart failure. With her condition, comes water retention, thus the swollen legs. However, what happened was the place where her leg was weaping (water was coming out of it), became infected. The doctors call this "cellulitus", or an infection of the skin. It was infected alright. It was so bad, that it had spaned from her ankle to her hip. Luckily though, it had NOT gotten into her blood stream. IF it would have infected her blood stream...she would not be here right now. One serious infection, cold, flu, or other major incident would kill my mom. Her heart is not strong enough to withstand much. She has a pacemaker/defibilator which helps keep her heart beating, and keeps her alive. I thank God everyday for that little device. However, I know that not even the best made devices cannot last forever. She is doing better, with the help of antibiotics, and the wonderful people at Sacred Heart Hospital.
I have been with her since 8 AM last Friday morning. I go up to see her every day and spend most of my days there. When I come home, I am both physically and mentally exhausted. I will come home, sit down, and cry most of the time. It amazes me to know that when you need to be there for someone, you can do anything for them without question. However, I have come to see that when I need someone, there are only a few who are there for me. My cats are the two greatest animals that God put on this earth (besides my dearest Sweetness who passed on last year May). They know that something is wrong, and they are all over me when I walk in the door. They will lay on my lap when I sit in my chair...rub their little furry faces against mine to show me they care and then they "paw massage" my legs to try and relax me.
For those out there who read this, take the time to call your parents, friends, or significant others and tell them you love them. If you have pets, take the time to play with them, show them how much they mean to you *even if they get into everything*. You never know when they won't be here anymore!
I will be back with updates on mom again soon...Oh, and if anyone knows individuals in the middle east, let them know we are thinking and praying for them.
Peace,
Paula |
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